WHAT ARE THE SIGNS TO LOOK FOR IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

Boy in a hat

Jealousy, insecurity or lack of trust
  • Calling frequently
  • Accusing you of flirting with others
  • Getting angry when you come back "late" from running errands or leaving the house
  • Wanting to read your emails, texts
  • Asking "Who are you going out with?" or "Why are you dressed up?"

Leveraging "Love"
  • Saying “I love you” early in the relationship
  • Pressuring you to commit
  • Quickly moving in together or getting engaged
  • Whirl-wind statements like "I've never felt like this with anyone else", "you’re the only one I can talk to", "no one will love you like I do"
  • Having an “us against the world” mentality

Possessive, Controlling or manipulative behavior
  • Making you feel guilty about your normal behaviors
  • "Baby, don't you love me?"
  • "If you loved me you would..."

Verbal and emotional abuse
  • Name calling and put-downs, "No one will want you"
  • Pointing out your past failures
  • Being distant or violent then being warm and loving.
  • Embarrassing you in public

Threats of violence
  • Locking doors or closing windows during an argument

Breaking, striking or things
  • Punching walls
  • Striking hands on tables for emphasis

Physical force towards you or others
  • Forceful contact
  • Throwing things

Use of force for sex
  • Encouraging unprotected sex to increase chances of STD’s or pregnancy
    • "if you leave me I will tell your friends and family.."
    • "who would want to be with you now"
  • TMaking you feel guilty or undesirable
  • Doing things that you do not consent to

Blaming you or others for problems, not taking responsibility
  • Chronically unemployed, jobs "just don't work out"
  • Someone is out to "get them"
  • "you made me mad"
  • "I can't help being angry"

Cruelty to children or animals
  • Teasing children until they cry
  • Punishing a child for wetting their diaper
  • denying food or protection from cold

Isolating you from friends and family
  • If you find yourself cancelling of “flaking out” on plans more frequently
  • Saying your friends have a bad reputation
  • Reminding you of their past wrongdoing

Hypersensitive
  • Remarks are taken as a personal insult, claiming you hurt their feelings.

Past battering
  • Abuser may claim their past partner "made them do it"
  • Abuser's friends and family may tell stories of past battery