Donate Today
Quick Escape

Safety Alert

To immediately leave our site click the QUICK ESCAPE button. Please test this now to ensure it works and you are familiar with its function.

We also suggest you clear your browser history after visiting our site by going to:

Tools › Internet Options › History › Delete

Family embracing

Signs of Abuse

What are the Signs to Look for in an Abusive Relationship?

Jealousy, insecurity or lack of trust

  • Calling frequently
  • Accusing you of flirting with others
  • Getting angry when you come back "late" from running errands or leaving the house
  • Wanting to read your emails, texts
  • Asking "Who are you going out with?" or "Why are you dressed up?"


Leveraging "Love"

  • Saying “I love you” early in the relationship
  • Pressuring you to commit
  • Quickly moving in together or getting engaged
  • Whirl-wind statements like "I've never felt like this with anyone else", "you’re the only one I can talk to", "no one will love you like I do"
  • Having an “us against the world” mentality


Possessive, Controlling or manipulative behavior

  • Making you feel guilty about your normal behaviors
  • "Baby, don't you love me?"
  • "If you loved me you would..."


Verbal and emotional abuse

  • Name calling and put-downs, "No one will want you"
  • Pointing out your past failures
  • Being distant or violent then being warm and loving.
  • Embarrassing you in public


Threats of violence

  • Locking doors or closing windows during an argument
  • Punching walls
  • Striking hands on tables for emphasis


Physical force towards you or others

  • Forceful contact
  • Throwing things


Use of force for sex

  • Encouraging unprotected sex to increase chances of STD’s or pregnancy
  • "If you leave me I will tell your friends and family.."
  • "Who would want to be with you now"
  • Asking you to feel guilty or undesirable
  • Doing things that you do not consent to


Blaming you or others for problems, not taking responsibility

  • Chronically unemployed, jobs "just don't work out"
  • Someone is out to "get them"
  • "You made me mad"
  • "I can't help being angry"


Cruelty to children or animals

  • Teasing children until they cry
  • Punishing a child for wetting their diaper
  • Denying food or protection from cold


Isolating you from friends and family

  • If you find yourself cancelling of “flaking out” on plans more frequently
  • Saying your friends have a bad reputation
  • Reminding you of their past wrongdoing



  • Remarks are taken as a personal insult, claiming you hurt their feelings.


Past battering

  • Abuser may claim their past partner "made them do it"
  • Abuser's friends and family may tell stories of past battery