Signs of Abuse
What are the Signs to Look for in an Abusive Relationship?
Jealousy, insecurity or lack of trust
- Calling frequently
- Accusing you of flirting with others
- Getting angry when you come back "late" from running errands or leaving the house
- Wanting to read your emails, texts
- Asking "Who are you going out with?" or "Why are you dressed up?"
Leveraging "Love"
- Saying “I love you” early in the relationship
- Pressuring you to commit
- Quickly moving in together or getting engaged
- Whirl-wind statements like "I've never felt like this with anyone else", "you’re the only one I can talk to", "no one will love you like I do"
- Having an “us against the world” mentality
Possessive, Controlling or manipulative behavior
- Making you feel guilty about your normal behaviors
- "Baby, don't you love me?"
- "If you loved me you would..."
Verbal and emotional abuse
- Name calling and put-downs, "No one will want you"
- Pointing out your past failures
- Being distant or violent then being warm and loving.
- Embarrassing you in public
Threats of violence
- Locking doors or closing windows during an argument
- Punching walls
- Striking hands on tables for emphasis
Physical force towards you or others
- Forceful contact
- Throwing things
Use of force for sex
- Encouraging unprotected sex to increase chances of STD’s or pregnancy
- "If you leave me I will tell your friends and family.."
- "Who would want to be with you now"
- Asking you to feel guilty or undesirable
- Doing things that you do not consent to
Blaming you or others for problems, not taking responsibility
- Chronically unemployed, jobs "just don't work out"
- Someone is out to "get them"
- "You made me mad"
- "I can't help being angry"
Cruelty to children or animals
- Teasing children until they cry
- Punishing a child for wetting their diaper
- Denying food or protection from cold
Isolating you from friends and family
- If you find yourself cancelling of “flaking out” on plans more frequently
- Saying your friends have a bad reputation
- Reminding you of their past wrongdoing
Hypersensitive
- Remarks are taken as a personal insult, claiming you hurt their feelings.
Past battering
- Abuser may claim their past partner "made them do it"
- Abuser's friends and family may tell stories of past battery